How do I explain away a strange package in the mail without any know knowing what I ordered!?

Question by Rendruk: How do I explain away a strange package in the mail without any know knowing what I ordered!?
I ordered a uh, cough, personal item online – it comes in a discreet package but it’s not like parcels come to our house all the time so when one does arrive and it’s seen people are generally curious about what’s inside of it.

“Mind your own “business” doesn’t cut it around here….

Just looking for various excuses anyone can come up with.

Best answer:

Answer by Rob H
a slap in the face works well…
but if you don’t want to offend them, think of something a similar size, buy one separately and when the package arrives tell them it was that

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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